Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Yes! Isiah's Back!

I'm a huge Knicks fan, and my favorite Knick coach of all time, Isiah Thomas, has returned to the coaching ranks by accepting the head coaching position at Florida International. Based on the aptitude he showed for coaching, here are some other situations that would be the equivalent of Isiah Thomas getting rehired as a coach:

* O.J. remarries

* The captain of the Titanic, after he shoves a bunch of women and children into icy cold waters in order to survive, captains another seemingly unsinkable cruise liner

* Shaquille O'Neal returns to his instructor's position at Madame Evelyn Webberly's Free Throw Shooting and Etiquette School

* Michael Richards, piggybacking off his fame as a beloved character in one of America's most watched sitcoms, attempts stand-up comedy, a craft at which he is both inexperienced and unseasoned

* Roman Polanski vacations...oh, anywhere in the States

* For the next Batman film, Chris Nolan brings back Tommy Lee Jones as Two Face. He also brings back the batsuit nipples

* Bill Buckner is again hired by the Red Sox, this time as their new groundballs-to-first-base-only instructor

* Ted Kennedy gets behind the wheel of a car

* Coming to a theater near you in the summer of 2015......Tom Hanks and Peter Scolari are.......BOSOM BUDDIES

* Pacman Jones back is let back into your strip club after you give him a stern talking-to about how this time, absolutely NO paralzying people allowed

* Jamie Foxx and T-Pain go back to the studio to reteam for another single titled Blame It (On the Poor Decision Making and Lack of Moral Fiber)

This man should be allowed to do nothing but play basketball. If Isiah Thomas ran a lemonade stand, he would hit on all the neighborhoods moms, serve Kool-Aid when they ran out of lemons, and within a week somehow the whole thing would be on fire.

No comments: