Monday, March 17, 2008

Did He Really Just Say That?!?!

I sit down at Subway to eat a sandwich, and 7 or 8 construction workers walk in. As they were eating, one of them made a seemingly innocent comment to one of his co-workers who had eaten his lunch very quickly:

"Man....you really pounded that foot long!"

Sounds pretty gay, doesn't it? After hearing that, then listening to them for a few minutes, I realized that they made a lot of seemingly innocent statements that could be construed as being gay when taken out of context. It was amazing how completely oblivious these guys were to how they sounded. Here are a few examples:

10. "That's a lot of beef in on those buns!"

9. These meatballs are so big I can only fit one in my mouth at once!" (Not making this up, people!)

8. "Hey man - mind if I try your six-inch salami?"

7. "Now, for the combo - can I exchange this bag of Ruffles for some dude blowing me?"

6. "Mmm...this sweet onion chicken teriyaki on whole wheat is so good, it makes me want to let a bunch of firefighters run a train on my white ass."

5. "Whatever, man. There's no way George Clooney would ever date a bum like me.....really? Ya think?"

4. "I'm also going to get a bag of chocolate chip cookies - and can I get those shoved up my ass?"

3. "This BMT reminds me of that time I went to Toronto to have a gay marriage with my partner, Martin, who is also gay."

2. "Why, this tuna sub tastes almost as good as my mailman's moustache, which I tasted this morning when I made out with him."

1. "I can't believe how much weight that Jared guy lost....wow! He really does look great. Hey, you know what are underrated? Balls."

Again - they had no idea how they sounded. Funny stuff. Hope they have a good time on that camping trip they were talking about.

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